Why Adults Need to Play More
Let’s be real for a second—we spend so much of our younger lives rushing to become adults, only to grow up and get responsible, productive, and put together that we forget how to do one of the most healing things we could ever do: play.
I’m talking about coloring outside the lines, building sandcastles or snowman with no kids in sight, dancing in the kitchen like it’s your damn stage, or ugly-laughing your way through a karaoke night. Yeah, that kind of play. Not the performative “self-care” that looks good on Instagram—actual, joyful, soul-feeding, nervous-system-calming play.
We Grew Up Too Fast
If you’re a firstborn, a child of immigrants, a Black or Brown kid who had to “act right” to stay safe, or someone who was parentified early, play probably wasn’t prioritized in your childhood. Maybe it was even shamed. You grew up thinking play was a luxury, not a right. And now, as an adult, you feel guilty for resting, let alone playing.
But here’s the truth: play is healing. It’s your nervous system’s love language. It’s your inner child asking, “Can we be safe enough to be silly again?”
Play Isn’t Immature—It’s Medicine
Research backs this up. Play helps reduce stress, improves brain function, and boosts creativity (HelpGuide, 2023). When we play, we release endorphins—our brain’s natural mood boosters. It’s literally good for your mental health.
What Adult Play Looks Like
You don’t need toys or a playground. (But if you want them? Do you, boo.) Adult play can look like whatever you want it to be. Here are some ideas to get started:
Use jumbo pencils, markers, or crayons instead of a pen.
Take a break from writing and draw it out.
Make vision boards with glitter, magazine cutouts, and stickers.
Add those crazy colors, accessories, and makeup (I dare you to not match).
Try painting by number or coloring outside the lines.
Read your emails or text messages in a silly voice.
Karaoke nights that turn into full concerts.
Make up dances to Beyoncé in your living room (Her concert is coming up, anyway).
Jump rope or go to a trampoline park like your knees and back don’t hurt.
Eat your favorite sugary cereal, candy, or meal while watching your favorite childhood movie or show.
The goal isn’t to be good at it; the goal is to feel free in it. Invite yourself to be bad at it too. And don’t make it into a chore. Find small, daily moments to add play into your life.
Why We Resist It
We resist play because we’ve been told it’s childish. Because capitalism convinced us that rest must be earned and joy must be productive. Because some of us associate play with moments when we were told to grow up, be quiet, or stop being “too much.”
But the absence of play doesn’t make us more adult—it just makes us more anxious, rigid, and disconnected. When you stop playing, you stop feeding your creative energy, and that’s when we get bored, stuck, and even burn out. Play helps us feel alive, motivated, creative, confident, and free.
So much of adulthood is grieving the play we never got or stopped giving ourselves and learning to give it back. We have many different parts to who we are—the toddler, the tween, and the teenager inside us. These parts don’t vanish into thin air; they stay with us, though they’re often packed away in a box far from our consciousness. How sad? :(
When’s the last time you invited these parts of you to play?
A Love Note to Your Inner Child
Your inner child doesn’t want perfection.
They want presence.
They want to laugh until you snort.
They want to move your body without shame.
They want to play.
So here’s your permission slip to play:
I, Georbina DaRosa, therapist and guide on your healing journey, hereby grant ___________ (your name) permission to:
Play without guilt or shame.
Laugh until you snort.
Move your body freely, without judgment.
Be silly, messy, and fully present in the moment.
Prioritize joy over productivity and rest over obligation.
Embrace your inner child and allow them to lead the way.
You are excused from the pressure to be perfect. Play is not a waste of time—it’s an essential part of your well-being. It’s a return to self, to softness, to joy.
Signed,
Georbina DaRosa, LMSW
NOW GO PLAY!!!!
